Dear Happy Cow

I was wondering if you could help me make a decision.

Recently I found out that I am pregnant. Me and my partner have been together for a couple of years. We have never really discussed having children because we have just been enjoying each day with each other and not particularly planning for the future. I am not in any doubt of our deep love for each other, he's a great bloke and we delight in each other's company. When I found out I was pregnant, which was not planned, I couldn't help but feel excited and blessed by this very happy surprise.

Unfortunately, my partner did not share my joy. He was rather shocked. I completely understand that reaction. A few weeks have passed and he has told me that he is not ready to be a father. He says that he loves me and loves being with me but he is not ready to add a child into that equation. I would really love to have this baby. I do feel ready to be a parent. But I also very much love my partner. I understand how he feels but now it is as if I have to choose between a real love that is here and now in my life, my partner, and the future, unknown love of a parent and a child. My friends and family tell me to "give it time, he'll come round." I don't see how I can make a decision based on the idea that he might come round to wanting to be a father. He says he might want children in the future but that statement is kind of meaningless to me in the present.

For me, this baby is a wonderful gift that I would like to accept. Yet, if I choose to have the baby or I choose not to, either way my heart is broken. I have no idea what it will be like to raise a child on my own. Am I crazy to even consider it?

Happy Cow, your thoughts would be very much appreciated.

Love,

Jessica, Sheffield

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